A Joyful Birth: How to Find Beauty in the Unexpected
Birth stories don’t always go as planned, but they can still be joyful and empowering.
This story is one Mother’s Firsthand Experience, a journey through unexpected challenges, resilience, and, ultimately, joy.
Preparing for Birth: When Plans Change
I honestly couldn't believe that I walked myself into the hospital for a scheduled induction. It was beyond what I ever wanted for my birth story, and yet it was what I was being encouraged to do by my midwives and OB, so I tried to do what was best for myself and the baby. I waited as long as appropriately possible with the ultimate goal of a vaginal delivery. I even agreed to additional antepartum testing to ensure that the baby and I were both healthy and doing well along the way; this helped my Doctor also feel more comfortable with not inducing me at 39 weeks like they were initially pushing for. I knew my body and baby weren't ready for that early of an induction.
We all have ideas and wishes for how we envision our birth story. I wish I could share these birth photos from a backdrop of the comfort of my own home without the use of medical intervention; however, that's not the case.
Gestational Diabetes: An Unexpected Challenge
All of my visions for how I wanted my birth to go slowly started to dwindle in the third trimester when I surprisingly learned about gestational diabetes. I worked my tail off to manage my blood sugar through diet and exercise, and received lots of support from other professionals to navigate this. I learned so much about blood sugar management through this process, and was honestly a little devastated since I already had been working so hard on my health. If you've ever had gestational diabetes, you know that even an apple can give a pregnant person a glucose spike. An unsweetened Greek yogurt bowl with a small handful of berries had me at a borderline spike. I used a CGM and finger prick to monitor my fasting glucose every morning. I even started walking in the rain every night after a low-carb dinner to ensure my fasting numbers were in range; this was a next-level effort in the third trimester! At this point in pregnancy, a girl just wants her creature comforts, and instead I was working my butt off!
I look forward to telling Daphne how hard I worked for our health while pregnant once she shows some sass later in life.
Breech Baby: A Twist
Come 37 weeks, another surprise hit us… Baby girl flipped breech! She had been in perfect positioning the entire pregnancy and, in the end, decided to flip the script. Another devastation since I didn't know anyone here in Eugene who would support the vaginal birth of a breech baby (some people do it in other areas that I know, and many are trying to bring safe vaginal breech birth back mainstream).
I was racking my brain and beating myself up as to why she would've gone breech this late in pregnancy. And we'll never know, but we can make assumptions. My favorite interpretation of why Daphne turned head-up was from @drnathanriley when he said, "Maybe she just wants to be closer to your heart." That was the sweetest thing I had heard. So many people said, "What a stinker, what is she doing?!" "Oh wow, what a sass." "She's already testing you." "She's gonna be a handful." What if she just wanted to be closer to Mama's heart? How we speak about and to our children matters, even in utero. No, she's not being defiant, and this isn't a sign of her character. So we spoke gently to her along the way.
With this turn of events and my list of "risk factors" growing longer, my midwives no longer felt comfortable with home birth and agreed to attend my birth at the hospital. I had reached out to my support network. I did everything in my power to get Daphne turned head-down: acupuncture, moxibustion, Spinning Babies, homeopathy, prayer, talking to her, visualization, and more. We got her turned back to head down position (vertex) in 6 days! Thank God. I cried with tears of joy in the hospital as the doctors prepared an intervention of an ECV. I requested an ultrasound first to see if her position had changed, and it did!!! The tools and prayers worked.
Choosing a Joyful Hospital Birth Experience
I continued to get pressure from my OB to induce at 39 weeks, but that plan didn't align for me, and baby and I were both doing great. So, I decided that 41 weeks and 1 day of pregnancy would be the ideal induction time to give my body the best chance at spontaneous labor. I was having early signs, but still wasn't dilating. My OB reluctantly agreed at my last appointment with her. During this appointment, I told her that no matter what, I was manifesting a JOYFUL birth. And she said, "Okay, great. A joyful birth it is!" We nodded at one another in agreement with smiles.
Arriving at PeaceHealth Sacred Heart Medical Center
Our midwives met us at the hospital to check us in on Monday, April 14th, at 6 p.m. Jonah and I had prayed over the process, the staff, and the medicines earlier in the day. Our birth photographer also came to the house to capture us in our home before heading to the hospital (a sweet gift from her since we didn't get the home birth we wanted).
From the moment we arrived at the hospital, we were cared for and shown love by the whole staff. We arrived, and I changed into my own birth gown. The team reviewed my birth plan and requests for baby I had printed and discussed them with us. We also brought colostrum we had sourced for Daphne (a total miracle bonus) that the hospital kept safe in their freezer for us to feed her once she was born.
My nurse had a wonderful hair braid that I complimented. She shared that another nurse on staff did it for her. I asked if she would do mine, too! The next thing I knew, the lovely nurse was in my room, braiding my hair into a beautiful crown. It was a lovely and fun moment that eased my anxiety about the induction.
As we waited to start the process, my midwives hung out. They helped me hang twinkle lights, LED candles, and prayer flags made by my beautiful sisterhood during my Mother Blessingway ceremony. We also set the music, altar, and diffuser. I hung birth affirmation cards that I could see from the bed and settled further into the room.
The Induction Process: Strength and Support
They checked my vitals, placed an IV (successfully on the first poke), and placed wireless monitors to track the baby's heartbeat as well as contractions. At 9 p.m. My husband held my hand as I received my first dose of misoprostol (a small pill placed vaginally behind the cervix) to help soften the cervix. The midwives left and encouraged us both to sleep as much as possible, as this could take some days. I went through my skincare & hygiene bedtime routine, and the nurse helped make Jonah's bed so we could be as comfortable as possible.
The nurse informed me they must check my blood sugar every 4 hours and then every hour during active labor- another curveball to surprise me. I had thought by now I didn't need to worry about blood sugar, so I took my CGM off before going to the hospital. Finger pricks were happening day and night…
At 2:30 a.m., our nurse checked me. She was considerate and kept the room dark with our dimly lit vibe. My cervix was softening, and she suggested one more dose of misoprostol. I agreed. Within a couple of hours of that second dose, around 4 a.m., my uterus was contracting! The sensations were tolerable yet uncomfortable, as I was experiencing them from the bed and didn't feel like I needed to get up.
We were up in the morning after sunrise and started working through different laboring positions. Jonah was an amazing support. He came to our birth classes and read "The Birth Partner" book (he even referenced it during labor). They had a birth ball and a peanut ball for our use. I even showered to feel refreshed.
Receiving the Foley Balloon: A Journey towards Laborland
Around 9:30 a.m. Tuesday morning, the day shift doctor and nurse came in. I was 1 cm dilated, and he offered to place a Foley balloon to help my body dilate further. We asked a lot of questions, and I hesitated as I was already experiencing discomfort at this point. They also offered pain management with it (fentanyl), and although I considered it, I agreed to move forward with placement without pain management. The Doctor was very patient and timed the placement between my contractions. I used my breath with lots of vocal toning and hand-holding by Jonah. It was very uncomfortable but tolerable. I didn't regret denying the pain meds.
The nurse drew me a bath, and I hobbled over to it with significant discomfort. The warm water was very relieving. While in the tub, contractions started to come on much heavier. I managed a conversation between contractions as Jonah hung out beside the bath. Our birth photographer stopped in for a visit to bring us coffee, tea, and a snack. Amidst our conversation, I had to vomit! And that was just the beginning of the intensity…
After some hours, I got out of the bath, and we worked through different positions again, with lots of deep vocal toning. The contractions were extremely intense. And in between, I was too sore from the balloon to find relief. The nurse came in to offer pain management. The options at this point were epidural, fentanyl, or nitrous oxide. Jonah messaged our midwife that I was considering some pain management, and she came right away to discuss it with me. Fentanyl crosses the placenta and also lowers our pain tolerance, so we end up needing more and more. I wasn't wanting or ready for an epidural, so I requested the nitrous. I knew I'd be interested in utilizing that tool leading into the hospital birth. You can see it in the photos with the mask. You inhale it a few times as a contraction is coming on, and it helps to dissociate the mind a bit, relax the body, and lessen anxiety so one can tolerate the intensity of contractions a bit more. It seemed to work well for me, and I used it intermittently throughout the labor/induction process.
My midwife was probably the best pain management of the entire journey. She took me through many laboring positions, Spinning Babies positions, and helped to give my mind something to focus on. She was like a personal labor trainer, giving me options for everything and goals to reach. "Would you like to do three contractions on the toilet?" I can do anything for three contractions. It's all possible when you break down anything into bite-sized pieces. I appreciated the options and direction she was offering.
The Wild Intensity of Reaching Laborland
I kept asking my midwife if I had reached "Laborland." So many people have talked about this so-called "land,"… and she said not yet.
By 6:30 p.m. that evening, the Doctor came to check me. I was 6cm dilated, and the balloon came out! Such relief having that thing out of my body!!! I couldn't sit on the birth ball or have the rebozo scarf used on me because I was so uncomfortable, even between contractions. The only thing that could help was someone's hand gently pressing on my lower back. Anything more than that was way too much.
Now that it was out, all the tools were helping— "shake the apples," applying more pressure on the lower back with hip squeezes, using the birth ball…
I asked again… yes, this is Laborland. Between then and around 9:30 p.m., it was a blur. My doula and birth photographer arrived around this time; I barely remember it. Laborland is indeed the greatest intensity. It is not necessarily a place many of us want or are willing to go to. It's a place where we're the wildest. Lots of deep tones are coming out of me, my head rolling around, and I am full-on wild nature. Beastly. I remember tapping on my third eye, and somehow, that was helping. My doula was offering me water between contractions and guiding my breath. The midwife helped with different positions and kept the baby's monitor on so we could ensure she was good throughout the journey. Jonah didn’t leave my side.
Familiar Faces and New Phases
The night shift doctor arrived, and I was lucky enough to have the same night nurse as the night before. I requested her once I knew she'd be on shift again. Having a familiar face felt supportive on the third round of shifts we were entering, and a full 24 hours since I received the first part of the induction. The Doctor suggested breaking the waters as the next phase of induction. After I consented to her checking me, we learned I was 8cm dilated! So promising! I agreed to her breaking my waters at around 9:45 p.m. It didn't hurt and felt similar to a cervical check- uncomfortable. And it also had to be timed between the intensity of contractions. Once the water started coming out of my body, I could smell it! It smelled sweet, like a baby. Daphne felt close! They did this in dim lighting, and the nurse thought she had seen meconium in the waters. My midwife & doula didn't see that, but the nurse and Doctor on staff had concerns about it. My doula and midwife reassured me everything was okay, and I felt that, too. However, when the hospital team is bringing all of these "what ifs" into our birth process, it feels scary and overwhelming.
It's estimated that a woman should dilate 1cm per hour once the waters are broken. I was having some wildly intense contractions. I was animalistic. My husband had never seen anything like it! We rocked it as a team: doula, midwife, and my husband, all supporting me through every step. And again, for me, it was a crazy blur.
Jonah messaged all our prayer holders to light their birth candles, letting them know she would be here soon!
When Progress Pauses
Doc came in 4 hours later, and we all couldn't believe it- I had only progressed 1/2 a centimeter! WHAT?! After ALL OF THAT?!! It was so disheartening and disappointing. It was sometime after 1 a.m. at this point; I had been contracting for nearly 24 hours. The Doctor suggested starting on Pitocin, but I was exhausted and at my max with the intensity, and we are well informed that Pitocin only makes things more intense and challenging. My body needed a break.
Induction is no joke. Laborland with induction is no joke.
I asked the nurse what she thought of the anesthesiologist on shift. She said that she was incredible. They said they'd give me space to decide if I wanted an epidural. I asked the team, and my midwife agreed with me that it would offer me some rest while the Pitocin did its job.
Choosing an Epidural at 8.5cm
Getting an epidural at 8.5cm was the next big wave to surf. WOAH. Everyone left the room except for Jonah, the nurse, and the anesthesiologist. My nurse was right; the Doctor was amazing! She was loving, patient, funny, and upbeat. I had to sit still for 15 minutes to place it in my spine. THROUGH CONTRACTIONS. Holy hell! That was another bridge I didn't think we'd cross. Yet, once the epidural was placed, I was so grateful for the sweet relief it offered.
Laborland with an induction might be hell on earth, and that epidural saved me. Praise God.
Rest, Relief, and... More Cords
Once you have an epidural, leaving the bed isn't an option. I was so glad for all the work I had done leading up to that point, so being pain-free in bed wasn't even a bother. However, you can change positions while in bed! There are more options than one would think; it just requires a bit of upper body strength and support from the birth team since the lower half of the body isn't as operational. All the strength I had been building in my body pre-pregnancy and prenatally paid off in dividends!!!
We all took some time to rest. Relief!!! With the lights dimmed, Jonah napped, and I napped on and off as I was being poked some more: my blood sugar spiked during active labor, and they advised me to start a second IV with an insulin drip to protect the baby. Oh boy! So many cords were attached to me. Why not one more??? LOL. So it took two nurses to successfully place an IV and two pokes this time. And they still kept checking my blood sugar…
At this point, I was connected to wireless monitors for me and baby, an oxygen monitor on my finger, an IV in each arm, a catheter up my urethra, and an epidural in my spine. And I wanted a natural birth… How'd we get here?!
A Nap Filled with Fear
This "nap" was haunted with fear. I was afraid for the baby, scared for myself. How did we get to this point? Will she be okay? Will we continue to need insulin after she's born?! This was the longest, most grueling process of my life, and we haven't even started pushing yet!!! I remember asking my doula for some bone broth (clear liquids only with an epidural) to gain some strength. I looked at my birth photographer and told her I was scared. Tears streamed down my face as I prayed to God for our baby and me to be okay the rest of the way.
Fully Dilated and Ready to Push
With my permission, they checked my cervix around 4 a.m. I was fully dilated, and we were ready to start pushing! We called the midwife back, and I caught Jonah up on what he missed during the "nap." Within an hour (I had no idea you could wait that long to push. The movies make it seem like it has to happen immediately, so that was very unexpected). I decided to put my labor gown on again (not sure why); Jonah brought me my birthing ring necklace that my sweet Blessingway sisters made, and Daphne's medicine bag. We prayed together and called in support from our higher powers. I remembered our intention: a joyful birth.
Strength at Sunrise
We started the pushing process, and I practiced breathing, pushing, and positioning techniques my pelvic floor specialist coached me on. In the third trimester, we participated in a vocal transformation course and chanted “LAHM” for the root chakra 108 times a day for 40 days… This tone worked well through pushing.I was so grateful to the team who helped hold my feet and legs and helped with positioning. The nurse also helped, directed, and applied counter-pressure to my perineum.
The sun started to rise on Wednesday morning. We thought maybe she'd be a sunrise baby! Watching out the big windows and seeing the mountains and birds flying in the early morning was so beautiful. I was hopeful and had a smile on my face the whole way through. I could feel God's presence and the presence of all the women who had given birth before me. The prayer flags gave me strength, knowing so many were praying for us and holding us in their hearts.
Final Shift and Fierce Determination
Then came another shift change (4th shift of our process). It was my OB I had worked with the whole pregnancy, and a new nurse. I didn't expect we'd still be birthing by her shift, but here we were! They came in bright-eyed and refreshed, ready to deliver a baby! My OB came in right away and started coaching me with my pushing. Having the bodily awareness I've cultivated for so many years came in handy to know how and where to push while having an epidural. My Doc was so impressed by my strength and ability to push baby down!
Watching Her Arrive
We had requested a mirror at the foot of the bed to watch the whole process. My Doctor had informed us of the baby's positioning—she was LOA (left occiput anterior), which is the ideal birthing position! Thanks to all the Spinning Babies positions early on with our midwife, we helped her into position! The Doctor got excited when she could feel Daphne's head and invited Jonah and me to feel it before she started crowning. WILD!!! We could see her hair coming out first!
Watching it was so surreal. I was pushing my heart out, using all my strength, smiling, and getting to see it all helped me see the progression. My baby felt so close yet so far, and it felt like an eternity. But seeing the process and having so much encouragement & enthusiasm from the team kept me going. The Doc and Nurse applied warm compresses to my perineum upon my request and also poured oil on me to keep things lubricated to prevent tearing.
The Moment of Arrival
Daphne started crowning, and I got to feel her head again and all her hair!!! It was REAL! Happy tears were streaming down my face. The Doctor said that if she's not crying when she comes out, the NICU team is ready and here if they need to take her. They were concerned about the meconium, blood sugar, and her size. They knew that she would be a big baby, so they were worried about shoulder dystocia. I started talking to Daphne— "You're going to come out, and you're gonna cry big, baby girl! And you're gonna slide right out, no problem, we've got this."
With a couple more rounds of pushes and resting between contractions, her head came out!!!! It was incredible to see!!!!! And so quickly, her arm, and then she spun out of me like a little ballerina, and the Doc placed her on my belly! She did have a cord around her neck. They moved it out of the way, and her little arm was also tied into it, which was a miracle and protected her shoulders from getting stuck. She came out wailing!!!
Our Joyful Birth
Jonah cried right along with her, and I was elated. I loved seeing all the vernix covering her body (I even yelled, "Cheese!") and asked the nurse not to rub it off.
This moment was the happiest and proudest I could ever be. Our family unit, a team- surrounded by God's hands and the hands of a loving team. A JOYFUL BIRTH.
Shortly after, they helped move her from my belly to my chest. I requested not to cut the cord until it stopped pulsing and turned white. Jonah got to cut it. While we were relishing in the glory of Daphne (her eyes wide open), my small 2nd-degree tear was stitched by the Doctor, and the nurse was doing a fundal massage on my belly. My midwife was ready to offer some colostrum to my nipple for Daphne to explore her first reflex of finding the breast. I offered some to her mouth with my pinky finger.
Trusting Intuition
They checked Daphne's blood sugar, and it was low. They insisted on a blood draw and giving her oral glucose. With the gracious idea of my midwife, I requested to talk directly to the pediatrician on shift. He came in, saw how wonderful Daphne looked, and said we could hold off on the blood draw, but they still suggested the glucose. We agreed to it, and she spits it out immediately (smart girl). We offered her colostrum using the supplemental nursing system (SNS) on my pinky. She took to it so well with a very strong latch, and every glucose reading after that was perfect! She did amazing with the Godsend of liquid gold!!!!!!
They then weighed her… 8 pounds 9.2 ounces. A big baby, but not so big she couldn't come out vaginally like the Doctor was worried about. I know many women who birthed 10+ pound babies out of their vagina, so I wasn't letting the Doctor scare me about that. She was perfect, and my placenta was large and healthy! My doula brought our fresh, warm placenta home to process immediately after birth.
Joy > Fear
All of the fears melted away. Our little miracle was strong, healthy, and beautiful in our arms. I've never seen my beloved cry more in his life—for at least a week. We are so happy and grateful.
A joyful birth, indeed. Despite the hospital birth, all the cords that were attached to me, and the induction process. It was joyful and beautiful, and we're so grateful.
We love our Daphne Dane. Welcome to the earth, sweet one!
This story was beautifully written by Brittany Boersma. To learn more about her, visit BZen Wellness!
